GUIDELINES FOR MEETINGS

Create a support group for women who give too much and receive too little, and who feel resentful about it. Bring people together who are coping with similar issues. Below are a few suggestions.

GUIDELINES FOR MEETINGS

• Begin and end on time. 

• Meetings should last roughly one-and-a-half hours.

• The meeting place can take place in someone’s home, preferably in a cheerful room without distractions.

• Serve tea and snacks. Drinks, but not food, may be consumed during the meeting.

• Participants should read The Givers & the Takers before their first meeting.

THE GROUP LEADER

• Ideally, the leader is a psychotherapist, life coach, or workshop leader.

• The leader introduces herself as the person who set up the meeting, explains that everything discussed in the group is to be kept completely confidential, and that she is dealing with the same issues.

• Three basic rules: no advice-giving, visible sympathy, or criticism of others.

• Keep to the topic being discussed.

TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION

1. Discuss the first chapter, "But, I Do Both!" 

We understand that on some days you give/receive more than on other days. Also, you treat people differently, are more generous with some than others. Nonetheless, most people exhibit an overall trend of being more of Giver or more of a Taker. In the first meeting, read and then talk about each of the 10 lessons presented in the first chapter. 

2. Discuss "Thirty Giver-Taker Traits." 

Encourage members to share instances where they have acted out the traits in this chapter. You may want to spend two or three sessions on this topic.

3. Discuss "The Taker's Secret Code."

Takers give more reluctantly, sporadically, and for a calculated reason. He or she has a hidden code of reciprocating, a set way of giving that is peculiar to the individual. Talk about Taker tricks.

4. Discuss "Rating the Two Types." 

Learn to distinguish between extreme, heavy, moderate and light Givers and Takers. 

5. Discuss "The Remedies."

In this session, discuss the eleven solutions to the Giver/Taker problem. Subscribing to any or all of these suggestions will automatically improve your relationships.

Nature seems to be built on patterns, and looking for those patterns is the primary preoccupation of artists and scientists alike. —RICHARD FEYNMAN